Image Credit: Fox / The Simpsons

By James Peters

Two and Out

PETERS: Forget Valentine’s Day — it’s time to embrace Palentine’s Day

Feb 10, 2023 | 11:17 AM

IF SEINFELD BROUGHT US A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US — a holiday that rebelled against the cultural norm — then next week deserves another one: Palentine’s Day.

Instead of Valentine’s Day, Palentine’s Day would be an opportunity for all of us to celebrate our friendships — our pals.

Thanks to a long list of flaws, Valentine’s Day is a relic that belongs in the past.

Not nearly all of us have romantic partners, but all of us have friends. Palentine’s Day is far more inclusive.

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Valentine’s Day applies a ton of pressure on spouses and partners, boyfriends and girlfriends to step up and shower their love with gifts.

It’s a windfall of cash for chocolatiers, florists and restaurant owners because that’s what we’ve been taught romance is all about.

At best, it teaches those of us in relationships to concentrate all of our love into one day and then take a deep breath and leave the romance for another 364 days.

At worst, it’s a setup for major disappointment and misunderstanding.

And what about the single and the widowed?

Another windfall for facial tissue manufacturers and makers of big tubs of ice cream.

Palentine’s Day doesn’t require any expenditure — except for the time you spend with friends. What’s a better investment than that.

The biggest flaw with Valentine’s Day is how it has been marketed to kids over the years.

The noted 20th Century philosopher Pat Benatar said love is a battlefield — and a battlefield is no place for children.

Nonetheless, kids are all but forced to scrawl hand-written expressions of their adoration to their classmates every year.

It amounts to a manipulation of immature emotions.

By the time they’re old enough to actually consider relationships, they’re too old to want to share valentines.

Friends, on the other hand, are important to all of us at any stage in life.

Those of us in relationships can and should celebrate them any time and all the time.

Let February 14 be a day for the pals.

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Editor’s Note: This opinion piece reflects the views of its author, and does not necessarily represent the views of CFJC Today or Pattison Media.