Image Credit: CFJC Today

By Ashley Legassic

YOU'RE NOT ALONE

YOU’RE NOT ALONE: Who is dying by suicide?

Sep 9, 2019 | 4:35 PM

KAMLOOPS — In You’re Not Alone, we’re shining a light on a dark topic — suicide. It’s not an easy word to say, and it’s certainly not easy to talk about. But it’s behind thousands of deaths in our community, province, country, and around the world. An average of 565 people die by suicide each year in B.C. In 2017, Interior Health had the second-highest rate of suicide deaths. It’s an uncomfortable subject, and some of the stories will be difficult to hear. But it’s important. In the first installment, we speak to those with professional and personal experience, and look at who is dying by suicide.

Heather Grieve has worked in the mental health field for more than 20 years.

Every day, she works with people who are suicidal or dealing with severe mental health issues.

“If we don’t use the word ‘suicide’ we can’t agree on what we’re talking about,” she says. “Mental health is one of the things where there’s no population or part of the population that’s immune. It has no gender bias, it has no prejudice — it has none of those things. It really spans the scope of our population.”

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Jolene Lindsey and her father. (Image Credit: Submitted / Jolene Lindsey)

Jolene Lindsey lost her dad to suicide when she was 17 years old. Since then, she’s forged her career path into helping others struggling with mental illness.

“I was 17 at the time, which is Grade 12 year and you’re thinking about your career and you’ve done all your planning and everything you were going to do,” she says. “And I had a very different kind of journey and path, and then losing my dad really shifted what my passion was going to be. So I decided to become a social worker.”

Lindsey now works at C&C Resources for life — specializing in grief counselling. Like Grieve, Lindsey says there’s no specific demographic that suicide loss impacts.

“We see all walks of life — whether it’s parents who have lost kids, whether it’s kids who have lost parents, whether it’s spouses who have lost their partners, friends who have lost their friends,” Lindsey says. “There are questions or ‘I really wish I could have’ — the would haves and should haves and could haves. When we get stuck in those patterns, it’s really hard to move past them sometimes.”

But there are demographics at higher risk for dying by suicide. The age groups of 60 to 69 years old and 80+ have the highest rate of suicide deaths in the province.

There are also far more men dying by suicide than women in B.C.

Image Credit: BC Coroners Service

Sandra McArthur lost her son Quinnton to suicide in October 2015. Earlier this year, she completed a Community Compassion Walk to raise awareness around suicide, and allow people — especially men — to have a safe space to talk.

“I believe that being a man in today’s world made it extremely difficult to reach out and ask for help, and also to be able to ask for help and then to receive it,” McArthur said while speaking to CFJC Today in June. “Asking and receiving are the two biggest challenges and being a man it makes it even more difficult. That I truly believe is the reason why.”

The latest numbers from the BC Coroners Service show 75 per cent of suicide deaths in 2017 were men.

Another high-risk demographic is people who have lost a loved one or someone close to them to suicide.

Lindsey says the majority of people she sees in her line of work have thought about suicide, and more people than you think have had suicidal thoughts.

“Easily above 70 per cent of people when you ask them, ‘Have you ever had thoughts of suicide?’ they would say yes. It doesn’t mean they’re active thoughts, it doesn’t mean they have a plan for them or that they’re part of the picture right now, many people have thought about it. And to say that out loud many people are quite okay sharing it.”

Image Credit: CFJC Today / Evan Fitzer

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness or suicidal thoughts, there are several resources available throughout the Interior.

For those who have lost someone to suicide, there is a support group that meets the second and fourth Monday of each month at Kamloops United Church between 6:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.