Fake fire hydrant (l); real fire hydrant across the street from the fake one (Image Credit: Mel Rothenburger)

By Mel Rothenburger

Armchair Mayor

ROTHENBURGER: Life in a small town can get a bit silly at times

Jun 15, 2019 | 12:10 AM

LIFE IN A SMALL TOWN can get kind of silly, sometimes, can’t it? By small town, I mean, of course, small in the best sense of the word, a place where you can walk down the main street or sit in a coffee shop and always run into people you know.

A place where there are other things to worry about besides oil tankers being blown up in the Gulf and Russian interference in our elections. Even so, we’re capable of making national news.

HEADLINE: ‘Kamloops orders removal of ornamental fire hydrant that may confuse firefighters.’ (InfoNews.ca)

This story also attracted the interest of CBC Kamloops, which followed up on the InfoNews article a couple of days ago.

Ron Betts, apparently in response to the popularity of his front yard with dogs heeding the call of nature, made a fake fire hydrant out of a tree stump and an upside-down plant pot.

Boogie The Bridge

Boogie The Bridge Event Information

Apr 19, 2024

SOUND OFF

SOUND OFF: Short-term rental rules coming into effect in British Columbia

11h ago

ARMCHAIR MAYOR

ROTHENBURGER: Board may as well not have asked public about school's name

16h ago

This brought him into conflict with the long arm of the City of Kamloops bylaws department, which gave him a week to remove it. It might fool firefighters answering a call, according to Bylaws and the fire department.

“It could lead to the loss of a home,” acting bylaw services manager Tammy Blundell told CBC News. “All it takes is one time for that to happen.”

Never mind that Betts’ hydrant is red, and City hydrants are yellow. Besides which, City hydrants aren’t made of tree stumps and plant pots.

Should we be more worried about a fake hydrant, or about City firefighters who can’t tell the difference? One can imagine a fire truck, lights flashing and sirens wailing, rolling up to Ron Betts hydrant (ignoring the real one just across the street), firefighters leaping out, attaching a hose and waiting in vain for water to flow from the stump and the plant pot as a house goes up in flames.

City Bylaws has a long and distinguished record of saving the world from the little guys. I am reminded of Abby of Aberdeen, the Golden Retriever, rebuked by Bylaws for greeting school children as they walked by. Her crime was stepping outside her yard onto a City sidewalk.

Then there was the skateboarder’s mom who was fined $500 for littering when she angrily planted a broken skateboard in a City Hall garden after paying a $50 impoundment fee.

In an effort to satisfy the Bylaws people, Betts’ hydrant has been a work in progress. He first removed the plant pot and the fake hose spigots, added a “Dogs Only” sign, then attached a message addressed to Fire Chief Mike Adams: “This hydrant is pretend.”

As of yesterday, the memo was gone and a different planter — this one sporting some nice hens and chicks — was atop the stump.

With CBC’s version of the story going national, all of Canada now knows Kamloops takes its fire hydrants seriously.

HEADLINE: ‘Kamloops councillor says she won’t apologize for profane tweets.’ (CFJC Today)

Oh, those tweets. Coun. Dale Bass made headlines this week for failing to grasp a fundamental rule of politics — you can’t put your personal convictions in one box and your politics in another.

The political junkyard is littered with politicians who made unfortunate comments on social media and paid the price.

As told in the CFJC story, Bass put up a tweet using the word ‘bitch’ and another using the ‘f’ word. This has brought varied reactions, some praising her for her candor and defending her right to express her opinions, others slamming her for using expletives.

The bottom line is not that she has personal opinions about abortion and other matters, but the manner in which those opinions are expressed.

She isn’t the first local politician to swear publicly. Peter Milobar uttered his famous “Bullshit!” several years ago in voicing his displeasure with the Interior Health Authority. Donovan Cavers, when he was on council, had several spectacularly ill-advised mis-tweets.

Bass says she tries to separate her personal opinions from her political opinions but that’s impossible and, in the end, what does it matter? She can be a potty mouth who achieves good things on council, or one who doesn’t.

It’s more important what she does or doesn’t achieve in City Hall than how she talks outside City Hall. But if this story hasn’t made it onto The National yet, give it a day or so.

HEADLINE: ‘Pride crosswalks unveiled at Merritt hospital after local council rejected them.’ (CTV News)

There was some pomp and circumstance this week as provincial and local dignitaries gathered in Merritt for a healthcare spending announcement.

Health Minister Adrian Dix took the opportunity to unveil a couple of rainbow crosswalks, one outside the Nicola Valley Hospital and the other inside the Merritt Health Centre.

The move was inspired by the Merritt council’s refusal last year to approve a request from high school students to paint a crosswalk at a downtown intersection. The story went national at the time.

Then-mayor Neil Menard, who voted against the crosswalk on the grounds he didn’t want all kinds of groups asking for their own crosswalks, was turfed in last fall’s election. New mayor Linda Brown, who as a councillor supported the students, now says she thinks the new council would see things differently.

Anyway, none other than B.C. Legislative reporter Richard Zussman filed a story on Dix’s unveiling this week, putting Merritt in the national news again.

The silly part of all this is not that Dix unveiled a couple of rainbow crosswalks but that it was ever an issue in the first place.

ONE MORE THING: One of the reasons given for Kamloops council turning down yet another legacy notice of motion this week from former councillor Donovan Cavers — this time proposing free transit for seniors during off-peak hours — was that it was too late to consider for this year’s budget.

Which raises the question, which scheduling genius in City Hall put it on the agenda more than seven months after Cavers gave notice, guaranteeing it was too late for the budget?

Yes, life in a small town is fraught with unique complexities and challenges. It’s nice to know we still have time to concern ourselves with things that don’t matter much at all.

Mel Rothenburger is a former mayor of Kamloops and newspaper editor. He publishes the ArmchairMayor.ca opinion website, and is a director on the Thompson-Nicola Regional District board. He can be reached at mrothenburger@armchairmayor.ca.

——

Editor’s Note: This opinion piece reflects the views of its author, and does not necessarily represent the views of CFJC Today or the Jim Pattison Broadcast Group.