By Refraction

A parent’s non-comprehensive guide to the first day of school

Sep 2, 2018 | 5:00 AM

RUMOUR HAS IT that kids go back to school on Tuesday.

Like, this Tuesday.

As in, the day after tomorrow.

Every year it sneaks up and I’m never quite ready, but I have learned a few things over the last decade of sending kids off to higher education that make it a bit easier.

Feel free to take what is helpful and leave what is not.

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A Parent’s Non-Comprehensive Guide to the First Day of School:

1. Help your children pick an outfit for the first day (never underestimate the power of a first impression) but don’t pick it for them. (If they aren’t comfortable with what they’re wearing there will be all sorts of drama that you do NOT need today.)
2. Don’t bother loading the backpacks, but make the kids wear them anyway. They don’t actually need anything for the first day, but it’s a prop you’ll want for pictures and posterity. This will confuse your kindie and tick off your teenager, but do it anyway or the “Back to School” pics will not look very “Back to School-y.”
3. Take that picture! If you’re like me and love those personalized chalkboards but don’t have the time/energy for them, just get your kids to hold up their God-given fingers to indicate the grade they’re starting. I’m not sure what to do after grade 10 yet, but I’ll let you know once we’ve improvised that, too.
4. Post that picture everywhere. I love seeing your kids ready to take on the world! Also, the only other weekdays all year that your kids will look this put-together will be Official Picture Day and the Christmas Concert. So publicly document that shizz.
5. Have a simple tradition that marks the day. Nothing complicated or expensive, just something that puts a positive vibe on it. I take my kids out for breakfast on the first day of school; we hit up a fast food joint where they order whatever disgusting and unhealthy combination of items their irrational hearts desire and we start the year off on a celebratory note. *Added benefits include: avoiding hassling people to eat their breakfast, offspring thinking you’re awesome for at least one hour and getting to look each child in the eye and remind them that they are loved before sending them back into the complicated world of friendships, expectations, failures and daily lunch food envy.
6. When it’s time to drop your child off, actually do it: give them a hug, tell them they’ll be great and leave. Seriously, they’re fine. Unless there are legitimate extenuating circumstances they do not need you to stay; actually, they really need you to go. You’ve done your job, now let them practice their strength and independence!
7. Be prepared: more often than expected kids are all, “See ya!” as they wave over their shoulder and head into the building, like you’re just a benevolent stranger they hitched a lifelong ride with whose services are no longer required. Despite the dull ache somewhere in your heart region, you should definitely consider this a win. Congratulations! You’re effectively raising a well-adjusted, secure child! Hurts, doesn’t it?
8. The merciless elementary school calendar insists on torturing children and parents alike by sending kids back to school for an optimally awkward amount of time — on a Tuesday, no less — and kids can’t just be assigned to a class on the first day anymore (because heaven forbid the collective agreement results in structure and order for the children whose welfare is supposedly the linchpin of the whole operation) which further complicates an already emotionally wrought day with an anticlimactic thud. I have no strategy for dealing with either of those problems; I’m just warning you that they suck.
9. By the time it’s all done you’ll only have 45 mins. max before pick-up (I told you, it’s ridiculous). So go have a good cry or do a happy dance, take a walk or read a book, or just stare blankly into space wondering where the time has gone while irresistibly picturing their two year old faces, back when it was just you and them… with what felt like endless days then… but feels like the blink of an eye now…
10. Lastly, don’t fuss too much over who their teacher is or try to manipulate their social lives in an attempt to perfectly craft their worlds. Besides being a lot of inevitably fruitless work for you, it’s good for our kids to learn to adjust to new environments, circumstances and people. Also, it’s amazing how often the thing that you thought you were saving them from is actually exactly what they needed to experience to succeed.

Let those little birdies fly… and be ready with snacks when they return to the nest.