Just as you are

Aug 26, 2018 | 5:00 AM

BEING OPENLY AND PUBLICLY VULNERABLE isn’t easy, and no one knows that better than the members of the LGBTQ+ community.

If you are part of that community then I’m going to ask something of you that is completely unfair and inarguably undeserved; I’m asking that you do for me what I have not always done for you and extend to me your compassion, mercy and acceptance.

If you are not a member of that community and are instead someone who believes that identifying as LGBTQ+ is a more unpardonable lapse in morality than failing to sincerely love every human you encounter without condemnation, then I am optimistic that this admission can give you hope that it’s never too late to soften your heart and legitimately change.

Today, the Second Annual Pride Parade will take place in Kamloops, BC. Thousands of people from all walks of life will gather in what is sure to be an extravaganza full of joy, color, love and support. They’ll openly push back against hate, discrimination, apathy and fear with feathers, glitter, celebration and unification.

What I want to tell you is that I have never been conflicted about a Pride Parade and that I have never privately stood in condemnation of something that really isn’t any of my business. I want to tell you that I have unfailingly practiced what I preach by applying my beliefs to the LGBTQ+ community: unconditionally loving others, never judging and freely welcoming the opportunity for more than just a superficial relationship with people of all creeds.

But I can’t, because I haven’t.

Probably because it was so far from where my worldview began — which wasn’t hate or fear but something closer to sanctimonious disapproval — it has been a much-too-slow journey to authentically achieve unconditional love for the LGBTQ+ community.

It’s been humbling and painfully uncomfortable to admit that I have previously felt entitled to evaluate, weigh and judge the personal choices of others instead of examining my own heart; the cost of which has most likely been innumerable wasted opportunities to extend love to those who needed it while unintentionally misrepresenting my own values.

Believe me when I say that I would have preferred to stay confident in the belief that I unequivocally know what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”; but instead I’ve been realizing that my arrogance has just been thinly masquerading as the moral high ground.

Although my judgement and limited acceptance of LGBTQ+ people was never overt or vocal, anyone who has lived for more than a hot minute knows that we don’t have to be blatant in order to communicate to people whether they are truly accepted, fully loved and welcome just as they are.

This world does not need more judgment, fear, shame or censuring and every day I care less about opinions (including my own) that use excuses, justifications and semantics to condone those things.

Admitting that I did not understand or have adequate compassion for the LGBTQ+ community for much of my life, but that I do now, is not hypocrisy, a betrayal of my belief system or a slippery slope. It is, instead, the fruit of unconditional love that has been planted, tended, rooted and bloomed.

It is growth.

Many of the people walking in today’s Pride Parade have faced a lifetime of personal rejection, fierce opposition and deep pain; but they have overcome it to demonstrate to the world that love is love is love is love.

Those of us who have not had to walk that hard road have the power to prevent future pain for others by lying down the heavy burden of our own prejudice and raising the fabulous banner of love to show all people that they can and should be accepted just as they are.