KAMLOOPS — With my apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, I give you my Kamloops version of his poem, The Night Before Christmas. And what better way to take you to Christmas Eve in Kamloops then to begin with that famous opening line…
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through City Hall
Everyone was thinking
About the election next fall.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with hope
That more people this time
Would actually vote.
The voters themselves were nestled snug in their beds
While visions of fair taxes
Danced in their heads.
And the mayor now home began to relax
With hopes that guy Bill
Would never again say zero tax.
When out on my lawn there arose such a clatter
I was certain I heard bafflegab
And loud chatter.
I sprang from my bed with one quick hop
Cell phone in hand
Ready to call a cop.
I threw open the curtains wondering what would appear
Thinking maybe it would be
Those tiny reindeer.
When what to my wondering eyes should I note
But eight City Councillors
Arguing over some vote.
It is Christmas Eve and the hour is late
So why I asked
Can’t they end these debates.
Ajax is done, no need to talk mine
By-laws is happy
They’ve got more fines.
City staff knows best you should always listen
To their unbiased advice
That is so quickly given.
Soon to be legal, why worry about grass
As despite staff’s efforts
It will come to pass.
You can hire consultants and spend lots of dough
To ask local residents
If they prefer angled parking in rows.
The idea of a PAC will come and go
But so far a parking lot
Is all you have to show.
I listen to you talk every council meeting day
But I can’t help and wonder
If we’ll ever hear from Ray.
You ask if I’ll run in next year’s real election
And I assure you the mayor’s chair
Is no longer my intention.
A wink of my eye and a twist of a head
Soon gave you to know
You had nothing to dread.
Now Arjun, now Cavers, now Wallace I called
Now Denis, now Dieter I shouted to all
Take Tina, call Kathy and don’t forget that guy Ray
And maybe it’s time to call it a day.
So dash away, dash away, dash away all
And I laughed when I saw
All drive beyond city hall.
But I heard them exclaim
Ere they drove out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night."
I’ll be taking a short break next week but back on January 2, so until then, Merry Christmas and all the best for the New Year.
I’m Bill McQuarrie, signing off for 2017.