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By Mel Rothenburger

ARMCHAIR MAYOR

ROTHENBURGER: Why we shouldn’t fear the ‘suicide’ word in obituaries

Oct 8, 2020 | 4:34 AM

KAMLOOPS — I WAS RECENTLY ASKED for my opinion on whether or not CFJC Today should publish an obituary as it was submitted, acknowledging that a man took his own life.

My answer was that it should. If a family wishes to include such information, I said, that wish should be met. More importantly, suicide needs to be recognized and discussed openly, not hidden away and regarded as something shameful.

So, CFJC Today published the obituary as written, which was absolutely the right thing to do. However, another news medium deleted the paragraph of the obituary in which the person’s suicide had been stated.

That’s the old-school way of handling the issue. I don’t know whether the deletion was made with the consent of the family, but it shouldn’t have been edited. By taking out the reference, a judgment was being made that suicide is a secret that must be kept.

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The opposite is true. If we’re to make progress in suicide prevention, we have to first candidly admit the reality of it. Thousands of Canadians die each year from suicide, and each year thousands of funeral services of people who killed themselves are held in which the term is never mentioned.

We think, somehow, that we’re doing a service for the lost loved one by denying the cause of death. Actually, we’re denying that person the dignity of an explanation, of candor about the tragedy of his or her passing.

Coincidentally, the question of what to do about the obituary came up just ahead of annual Suicide Prevention Day. Because of the pandemic, the day was marked in a low-key manner here, with a few dozen people tapping into an online forum.

We must hope that, once we return to normal, that day, and the discussion of suicide and its causes and possible means of prevention, will grow into a true national dialogue. And that includes accepting it in obituaries.

I’m Mel Rothenburger, the Armchair Mayor.

Mel Rothenburger is a former mayor of Kamloops and a retired newspaper editor. He is a regular contributor to CFJC Today, publishes the ArmchairMayor.ca opinion website, and is a director on the Thompson-Nicola Regional District board. He can be reached at mrothenburger@armchairmayor.ca.

Editor’s Note: This opinion piece reflects the views of its author, and does not necessarily represent the views of CFJC Today or the Jim Pattison Broadcast Group.