Image Credit: Lecturio

By Mel Rothenburger

ARMCHAIR MAYOR

ROTHENBURGER: Prof. Mel’s quick guide to the language of COVID-19

Apr 9, 2020 | 4:44 AM

KAMLOOPS — WE’RE LEARNING A WHOLE NEW LINGO during this COVID-19 pandemic.

Some of it is evolving. For example, what began as a need to “flatten the curve” has become a goal to “plank the curve.”

That comes courtesy of chief medical health officer Dr. Theresa Tam, who says flattening the curve isn’t good enough, though they’re the same thing.

A plank is flat. In fact, look it up and you’ll find “flat” in the definition. But, OK, let’s stick with “plank.”

Sound Off

SOUND OFF: Culturally appropriate food goes beyond the ingredients on a plate

9h ago

Two and Out

PETERS: Whether building up or tearing down, Kamloops is what you make it

Dec 13, 2024

Sound Off

SOUND OFF: How to reduce food waste in Kamloops during the festive season

Dec 13, 2024

What started as “social distancing” has been redefined as “physical distancing.” Do we really not know that social distancing is about staying a safe distance away from others? Nobody thinks a virus can be caught over social media, do they?

Every day, someone assures us “we can get through this together.”

Yes, we’re in it together because we have no choice. And we will get through this, after a lot of people die. “Getting through it together” doesn’t mean a lot, though I guess it’s of some comfort that everybody’s in the same boat.

Some words will take more study. “Asymptomatic” is coming up a lot in recent days. “Intubation” gives us the willies just thinking about it.

And, by now we all know what an “N95” mask is — at least, that it’s a good one. “PPE” sounds a little like going Number One but it stands for “Personal Protective Equipment.”

Throw in “presumptive,” “zoonotic,” “quarantine” vs. “self-isolation,” “epidemic” vs. “pandemic,” and it’s getting to the point where we need a crib sheet just to watch the news.

If only we could hear the words “toilet paper,” “wipes” and “sanitizer” less often. But here are two words we’d love to hear: “Mission accomplished.” When we hear that, we’ll know we’ve planked the curve.

I’m Mel Rothenburger, the Armchair Mayor.

Mel Rothenburger is a former mayor of Kamloops and a retired newspaper editor. He is a regular contributor to CFJC, publishes the ArmchairMayor.ca opinion website, and is a director on the Thompson-Nicola Regional District board. He can be reached at mrothenburger@armchairmayor.ca.

Editor’s Note: This opinion piece reflects the views of its author, and does not necessarily represent the views of CFJC Today or the Jim Pattison Broadcast Group.