WHAT ARE THE THREE main symptoms of coronavirus?
Answer: Sore throat, fever and an irrational urge to buy toilet paper.
Why should we stay away from Kelowna?
Answer: Kelowna virus.
A little humour is useful in times of darkness. The big question, though, is what we’ll do when COVID-19 reaches Kamloops.
Well, to answer a question with a question, how do we know it’s not already here? The little so-and-so could already be circulating, and we just don’t know it yet because it hasn’t broken out into symptoms.
And when it does, there’s no guarantee the Interior Health Authority will tell us. But the mayor tells us Kamloops will likely see COVID-19 fatalities, and he’s probably right.
A few days ago, the coronavirus seemed like something that was happening somewhere else, but some of the experts are now suggesting the chances of us catching it are higher than our chances of not catching it. So when it does reach Kamloops (again, assuming it hasn’t done so yet) how will it change our lives?
Fact is, it’s already having a big impact.
People who have booked cruises are busy trying to get their money back. (One Kamloops couple is in quarantine in Ontario after coming back from a cruise on the Grand Princess.) Airlines and hotels are swamped with calls asking to cancel or rebook.
As of this week, sports are expendable and TV is a bust. One of my favourites — curling — won’t be on TV this weekend because the World Women’s Curling Championship that was supposed to get underway in Prince George has been cancelled.
California’s Indian Wells tennis tournament, popular with a lot of Kamloops folks, is also cancelled.
Though nobody in B.C. cares much about pro basketball since the Grizzlies left Vancouver, the NBA has shuttered its windows, too. Baseball, golf, soccer, auto racing, cricket. The Olympics might be next. Not going to the gym has suddenly become socially responsible.
The NHL season is on the shelf and Blazers games are “on pause until further notice.” When a virus interferes with hockey, that’s going too far. If we can’t watch the game, where are we to turn?
Late-night TV talk shows are either running without audiences in the studio, or not running at all. At this rate, the only thing left on TV will be Seinfeld re-runs, not that there’s anything wrong with that. We can’t even watch Question Period because Parliament has been suspended.
Can’t take the kids to Disneyland — it’s closed. Can’t go for a get-away in Vegas; nothing to see there. Wouldn’t matter if they were open anyway, since we aren’t supposed to leave home.
Conventions and large corporate meetings are being cancelled right and left. So are weddings, birthday parties and funerals.
Beyond the far-away things, though, there’s plenty of action right here. The bizarre toilet paper-buying frenzy continues unabated. Super markets are filled with anxious shoppers acting as if they’ve just won a 10-minute shopping spree.
Businesses and government agencies are scouring the land in search of hand sanitizer so they can beef up their efforts to encourage hand cleanliness. This is appreciated by those who have identified it as a new source of the much-in-demand item, which they freely pilfer wherever they find it. (It’s inevitable that toilet paper will begin disappearing from the rollers in public restrooms, if it hasn’t already.)
At least we can go see the new James Bond flick? Not so fast — its release has been delayed to November. Other movies are still showing, of course. About an hour after B.C. medical health officer Bonnie Henry ordered cancellation of all gatherings over 250, Cineplex sent out a press release assuring everyone the company is taking strict precautions to ensure the safety of those who attend their theatres, but I have a feeling business is going to be down.
Things are changing so rapidly this might be out of date by the time you read it but as of last night the Kamloops Film Festival was soldiering on, planning to finish up today as planned but limiting attendance at shows to 250.
Western Canada Theatre is going ahead with Café Daughter in the Pavilion Theatre because the theatre holds only 150, comfortably below the 250 limit.
School District 73 cancelled spring-break student travel but, so far, schools are open. How long can schools and universities stay open after COVID-19 makes its appearance? The Cirque du Soleil show scheduled for June is off. The Kamloops Symphony is suspending upcoming events. To show how close it hits to home, the Pritchard Daffodil Tea and Craft Fair has been cancelled.
And on it goes. Times of crisis bring out the best and the worst in us. The worst being the hoarders who clean out the stores and then resell at scalper prices. The best being the healthcare workers who put themselves at risk, the politicians who refuse to play politics, and the corporate bigwigs who are willing to forego profit for the greater good.
When COVID-19 arrives in town, we’ll need more of that kind of leadership, more of the best of us.
There’s an irony in the fact technology will get us through. Thirty years ago, we couldn’t just replace business meetings with teleconferences, or work from home with computers.
Suddenly, we’re not criticizing social media for eroding personal contact. Suddenly, social distancing is all the rage, and it’s the key to our survival.
As Stephen Colbert said the other night, this is a time when we all need to be together — but no closer than 20 feet. Or, to borrow from an old joke about introverts — we must unite, separately in our own homes.
Mel Rothenburger is a former mayor of Kamloops and newspaper editor. He writes five commentaries a week for CFJC Today, publishes the ArmchairMayor.ca opinion website, and is a director on the Thompson-Nicola Regional District board. He can be reached at mrothenburger@armchairmayor.ca.
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Editor’s Note: This opinion piece reflects the views of its author, and does not necessarily represent the views of CFJC Today or the Jim Pattison Broadcast Group.
