YOU’RE NOT ALONE: Surviving the darkness

She was living in Port Coquitlam at the time, and was staring at vehicles as she walked along the road — thinking either they weren’t big enough, or going fast enough, to kill her.

“The only reason why I didn’t jump in front of the vehicle or attempt to, is that in my head, all I could hear is God saying, ‘What’re you going to miss out on? If you do this, what are you going to miss out on?’ I had two young boys, they were preschool toddler age,” she says. “I look back now, and high school graduations, a wedding, grandkids one day.”

Heather Grieve (Image Credit: CFJC Today)

Heather Grieve with Interior Health remembers when she worked for an urgent response team and received a call to respond to a suicidal person.

“I was asked to assess someone and I was working for an urgent response team, and I went to the person’s residence and they were in an apartment building, and they’d already jumped off the balcony,” Grieve says.

That person survived, and when Grieve went back to assess them 18 months later, she got insight into how they were feeling in what they thought were their final moments.

“That was the thing that stood out for them about the whole incident, is that they were so sure it was what they wanted to do, that they climbed over to the other side of the balcony and took their legs off and were hanging… from the balcony, and at that moment this person said ‘I changed my mind and I did not have the strength to pull myself up.'”
_{– Heather Grieve}

Grieve says this case was a huge learning lesson for her, coming to understand that if this person had died, no one would have known this wasn’t something they actually wanted.

“If I didn’t have a chance to talk to them after the fact, I wouldn’t have known that this wasn’t what they wanted in that final moment,” Grieve says. “And that has really stuck with me in terms of talking to people openly and honestly and not giving up.”

Michelle Nelmes (Image Credit: CFJC Today)

“Crisis line workers do regularly get a thanks at the end of the call for being there to answer the phone, to provide that support, and listening. Some even do call back to thank them for saving their life.”
_{– Michelle Nelmes}

Michelle Nelmes is the crisis line coordinator in Kelowna for the Interior Crisis Line network. The call centre is full of volunteers who dedicate their time to answering the 21,000 calls that come in each year. It’s an emergency line for people in different crises — including suicidal situations.

“Years ago, suicide was such a thing that most people didn’t talk about, and now it’s becoming more and more okay to be open about it,” Nelmes says. “I think having access to services like the Crisis Line and the Suicide Line has really helped in that.”

Talking about suicide breaks down the stigma that surrounds it.

Image Credit: CFJC Today

After Lapierre sought help from her doctor, she decided to be open about her struggles. She has a message for anyone who feels like they’re at rock bottom.

“Be selfish for a bit. ‘What am I going to miss out on?'” Lapierre says. “And then think about the people that are around you — your family and your friends. Do you have kids? How are they going to be able to handle their parent has done this? And the friends, they’ll think, ‘Well how did I miss this?’ Reach out. Find one person that you trust and ask for the help. Because really, it just takes one person to give you that support and give you the hope.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness or suicidal thoughts, there are several resources available throughout the Interior.

Image Credit: CFJC Today / Evan Fitzer

by Ashley Legassic

YOU’RE NOT ALONE: Surviving the darkness

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