Taylor’s Turning 30

Taylor Swift is turning 30 on December 13th, and in celebration of the big year that’s ahead of her, she penned a candid essay for ELLE magazine titled “30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30.”

“According to my birth certificate, I turn 30 this year. It’s weird because part of me still feels 18 and part of me feels 283, but the actual age I currently am is 29,” Swift began. She said that she’s expecting her thirties to be her best years, “But until then, I thought I’d share some lessons I’ve learned before reaching 30, because it’s 2019 and sharing is caring.” Here are just a few takeaways from the piece:

Her mother’s cancer has returned: Taylor first revealed her mom Andrea Finlay had been diagnosed with cancer back in 2015, but kept most of the details after that announcement private. “I’ve had to learn how to handle serious illness in my family,” she explained. “Both of my parents have had cancer, and my mom is now fighting her battle with it again.”

“It’s taught me that there are real problems and then there’s everything else,” she continued. “My mom’s cancer is a real problem. I used to be so anxious about daily ups and downs. I give all of my worry, stress, and prayers to real problems now.” This is the first fans learned her dad, Scott Swift, was also diagnosed with the disease in the past.

On her biggest fear: “After the Manchester Arena bombing and the Vegas concert shooting, I was completely terrified to go on tour – I didn’t know how we were going to keep 3 million fans safe.” She also reveals she carries around special bandages designed for “gunshot or stab wounds.”

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On overcoming bullying: “I learned that disarming someone’s petty bullying can be as simple as learning to laugh. In my experience, I’ve come to see that bullies want to be feared and taken seriously.” Referencing her feud with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, she said: “A few years ago, someone started an online hate campaign by calling me a snake on the internet. The fact that so many people jumped on board with it led me to feeling lower than I’ve ever felt in my life, but I can’t tell you how hard I had to keep from laughing every time my 63-foot inflatable cobra named Karyn appeared onstage in front of 60,000 screaming fans. It’s the Stadium Tour equivalent of responding to a troll’s hateful Instagram comment with ‘lol.’ It would be nice if we could get an apology from people who bully us, but maybe all I’ll ever get is the satisfaction of knowing I could survive it, and thrive in spite of it.”

On accepting her body: “I learned to stop hating every ounce of fat on my body. I worked hard to retrain my brain that a little extra weight means curves, shinier hair, and more energy. I think a lot of us push the boundaries of dieting, but taking it too far can be really dangerous. There is no quick fix. I work on accepting my body every day.”

Why she waited so long to get political: Swift made a big statement in 2018 when she shared a lengthy Instagram post ahead of the mid-term elections. In it, she rallied against a Republican candidate in her home state of Tennessee and spoke out against the “systemic racism” on the rise in the U.S. It was a rare statement from Swift, whose only other political post was to encourage her followers to vote – for anyone, really – ahead of the 2016 election. Going forward, she says she is “going to do more to help,” suggesting she’ll endorse a presidential candidate for the first time by writing, “we have a big race coming up next year.” “Only as someone approaching 30 did I feel informed enough to speak about it to my 114 million followers,” she added of her hesitation to chime in earlier. “Invoking racism and provoking fear through thinly veiled messaging is not what I want from our leaders, and I realized that it actually is my responsibility to use my influence against that disgusting rhetoric.”

She believes victims in the #MeToo era: “It’s my opinion that in cases of sexual assault, I believe the victim,” said Swift, who won a case in 2017 against a DJ who groped her backstage at one of her concerts. “Coming forward is an agonizing thing to go through. I know because my sexual assault trial was a demoralizing, awful experience,” she continued. “I believe victims because I know firsthand about the shame and stigma that comes with raising your hand and saying ‘This happened to me.’ It’s something no one would choose for themselves. We speak up because we have to, and out of fear that it could happen to someone else if we don’t.”