By Refraction

NEUSTAETER: Forget the kids — adults are the problem at Sparkling Hill

Jan 6, 2019 | 6:00 AM

I HAD BEEN ACHING to visit Sparkling Hill Resort and Spa near Vernon since it first opened and this year, after carefully planning, saving and splurging to make it possible, my husband surprised me with a weekend there for our 16th wedding anniversary.

It was every bit as beautiful, relaxing, luxurious and other-worldly as I had hoped and anticipated; the facilities were unparalleled, the infinity pool was breathtaking and our room was nothing short of spectacular.

The only snag in the perfection of the weekend was some of the other guests.

To my relief the world-renowned Sparkling Hill Resort announced two new policies this week which, in essence, are:

1. The destination will be exclusively for adults; children under 16 years old will not be permitted.
2. Weddings and wedding-related events will no longer be hosted.

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Watching the online reaction to the announcement was very interesting and left me wondering how many other people have had experiences that were similar to ours (or worse) when it came to their fellow man interfering with an attempt at rest and relaxation.

The first policy came as no surprise to me; after all, are any of us discovering for the first time that there are parents who lack the awareness to recognize that their child, while precious, is not the centre of the universe? Or that while a mother-daughter getaway weekend can be special, a $122 million-dollar facility with 3.5 million irreplaceable Swarovski crystals and equally valuable silence policies might not be the best place for a preteen slumber party? Or that without a policy in place there will always be parents who allow their toddlers to run amok, disrupting others while they smile on indulgently or have their eyes glued to their phone?

This is not to say that children should be expected to be perfect angels or that parents should be judged or shamed every time their child misbehaves. I’m a mother of three and know as well as anyone the horror that is a two year old in a public place with an ironclad will and an unwavering dedication to their own objective. I have removed my own darlings from social situations more times than I can count because they were acting the tyrant.

I’m saying that parents should, but often do not, have the sense to know when an environment is inappropriate for children and too often fail to set reasonable expectations for behaviour in order to be considerate of others.

It has often been a sad discovery for me as a parent that my children are penalized because other parents fail in the most basic tasks of courtesy and discipline, but such is the price for living in a civilized society. Often we have to accept boundaries that we might not need in order to guide and regulate the lowest common denominator. And when I say that, I do not mean the children; I mean the parents — the supposed adults.

Which brings me to Policy #2.

There is absolutely nothing about Sparkling Hill that screams, “Bring your party people here!”, but despite the fact that calm, peace, relaxation and serenity are the explicit focus of the facility, we were amazed to see how many inconsiderate and tone deaf adults still seemed to have confused a weekend spa retreat for a Vegas bender: squealing and tossing each other around in the serenity pool with the “quiet please” signs pleading soundlessly in the background, complaining about the lack of canned beer and loudly drawing on every school ground curse word they know in a vain attempt to impress irritated bystanders with their limited vocabulary.

Is now a good time to suggest that if you are unable or unwilling to hold your vulgar tongue and are looking for a night you won’t remember, then Sparkling Hill is both an inappropriate and unnecessarily expensive location choice?

I love a good party, stiff drink, wild weekend, belly laugh and am known for my water fight skills, but I’m also aware enough to know that Sparkling Hill is not the place for any of those things and, honestly, most other adults are too.

People should be able to have weddings at Sparkling Hill, bachelor/bachelorette planners should have the discernment to know if Sparkling Hill is the right venue for their gathering and 13 year olds should be mature enough to be at Sparkling Hill with a parent. But until enough people tip the scale to consideration, common sense and reason, places like Sparkling Hill will have to make and enforce policies that limit the many because of the ignorance of the few.

In any case, I’m looking forward to the day I can return to the serenity of Sparkling Hill without worrying about whether a toddler will be tantruming in the dining room or a group of weekend warriors will be roughhousing in the tea room.

So, thanks for having common sense and a backbone, Sparkling Hill.

It would be nice if more people followed suit.