By Refraction

NEUSTAETER: Black Friday and Cyber Monday — when consumerism consumes us

Nov 25, 2018 | 4:00 AM

Have you experienced buyer’s remorse?

That sinking feeling when you unpack the shopping bag at home and think, “Did I really need that?”, “Was it really worth that?” or “Why did I even buy that?”

I’m not a minimalist by any stretch of the imagination, but in our home we try to make living within our means a priority. With all of life’s uncontrollable stress we just can’t bear the thought of unnecessary debt also chewing away at the back of our minds.

There have been times when our credit card statement got away on us and we realized that, while there are a lot of things we can’t control in life, consumer debt isn’t one of them.

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I love to shop; it’s one of my very favourite things. I come from a long line of proud “shop ’til you drop” women and I’m not ashamed to tell you that I am often the last one left standing.

We have Boxing Day and craft fair shopping traditions and make whole days of pursuing downtown boutiques, mom and pop shops, second hand stores and even big box locations.

I’m all for supporting shopping local and, as a girl with strong Mennonite roots, love a great deal.

But something about Black Friday just rubs me the wrong way.

Maybe it’s because I’m Canadian and it seems annoying to adopt a day rooted in American consumerism or maybe it’s because hijacking Thanksgiving with greed is just too ironic for me to stomach, but for whatever reason I just can’t bring myself to get on board with the #buyallthethings mentality of Black Friday.

I mean, if you need a dishwasher and you can get one for 40 per cent off, that’s just smart shopping — and if Mama don’t have a dishwasher then aint nobody happy. No condemnation here.

Likewise, if it’s an efficient way to save some money on Christmas presents then I get it.

But if it comes down to you, another human and the only Hatchimal (or whatever item is hot this year) on the shelf, I hope you can walk away empty-handed and still know that you and your kid will have a Merry Christmas.

I’m not anti-buying things; I’m anti buying things you don’t need with money you don’t have in an attempt to fill an emotional hole that is ever-widened by the disease of “want,” resulting in consumerism consuming us.

A Joshua Becker quote I came across this week really seemed to hit the nail on the head for me: “If you’re not content today, there is nothing you can buy this week that will change that.”

It’s not so much the idea of a big sale day that bothers me. It’s the fabricated urgency around the event ,creating the illusion that what you have is not enough that really gets me — the bombardment of self, want and stuff during a weekend that was specifically set aside to focus on togetherness, hospitality and gratitude.

Which brings me to Giving Tuesday. Have you heard of it?

After Black Friday and Cyber Monday comes Giving Tuesday, a day and movement dedicated to the celebration of giving back instead of taking more.

Since its inception, millions of Canadians have participated in Giving Tuesday and intentionally use the day to donate to, or volunteer for, the causes that they care about most.

It’s an opportunity to consider the benefit for causes like the SPCA, the United Way, A Way Home, World Vision, the MS Society, Children’s Hospital, the Heart and Stroke Foundation, a Go-Fund-Me account for a worthy cause like Jessie Simpson’s care and countless others over the cost of one more thing we really don’t need.

In my experience, giving is the best remedy for the disease of consuming, volunteering is the best cure for the obsession with self and meeting the needs of others breeds deeper contentment than anything I’ve ever bought.

Go ahead and treat yo-self; that’s fine. But if you want to stop spending money on stuff you don’t need in an attempt to fill an internal void that is only growing larger, then I would recommend Giving Tuesday over Black Friday or Cyber Monday.

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Visit givingtuesday.ca for more info.