By Armchair Mayor

If we’re going to insult politicians with nicknames, let’s make them good ones

Apr 29, 2017 | 5:00 AM

KAMLOOPS — Maybe it’s election fatigue and I’m just feeling grouchy, but could someone clue me in on what’s so funny about calling the premier of our province “Krusty” Clark?

Friends and supporters don’t call her that, so it’s safe to assume it’s not meant as a compliment. No, it shows up in anti-Liberal blogs and comments whenever somebody is feeling snarky about the premier or her party.

I not only don’t find it amusing, it’s not even clever or appropriate. A “crusty” person is someone who is ill-tempered, crotchety, grumpy — kind of like me when I read something really dumb.

In Clark’s case, she could hardly be defined as ill-tempered or grumpy, since she has an eternal smile etched into her face and is cheery to a fault.

If I look up “krusty” with a “k” I find that it’s sometimes used as a name for someone whose name you’ve forgotten. The Urban Dictionary tells me Krusty is also the name of a TV clown on the Simpsons. As I’ve never watched the Simpsons in my life, and never intend to, I wasn’t aware the show includes a clown named Krusty.

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But since it apparently does, I’m at a loss to figure what it has to do with Christy Clark.

I dislike most smart-ass nicknames that detractors use for politicians, especially those that display no originality. Like Steven Harper haters who insisted on calling him “Stevo” in letters to the editor. Even though I was anything but a Steven Harper fan, the “Stevo” reference pissed me off so much I used to edit it out.

Admittedly, I went through a phase when I occasionally referred in columns to a certain local politician as Mayor Crankypants, but I felt at the time it was an apt description because of his demeanor in connection with a number of things that were going on at City Hall. And, I confess, it amused me.

Besides, I wasn’t stretching for some silly play on words with respect to his actual name, I was using it descriptively. A nickname should have a purpose or evolve naturally — like “Boubou” for Robert Bourassa or “Lulu” for Lucien Bouchard — not be manufactured out of thin air.

For example, one of my nicknames in high school was Snerd. My other one was Rotten Hamburger. You see the difference. There’s nothing ingenious about the latter — and it’s hardly hilarious. I didn’t think so, anyway, though I’m biased.

As for Snerd, it just sort of happened, but it stuck, and it wasn’t intended to be derogatory.

Bill Clinton was nicknamed “Bubba” because of his southern charm. Not an outstanding example, but it had some meaning. And one of the best of all time has to be “The Governator,” in reference to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s stint as the governor of California.

Contrast that with the unimaginative “Crooked Hillary.”

Occasionally a nickname turns out to be almost too good to be true. Who will ever forget how the “Little Guy from Shawinigan” Jean Chretien gave the “Shawinigan handshake” to a protester?

If Kevin O’Leary had carried through with his federal Conservative leadership bid, no doubt his detractors would have found a new nickname to replace “Mr. Wonderful.”

But back to the current election campaign and B.C. politics, I’m surprised nobody’s tried out Andrew Whiner or Andrew Wingnut, or John Boring or John Hypocrite, none of which would be apt, but would be typical of the low-quality online cheap-shotting to which we’re subjected.

Krusty, er, Christy, Clark and the BC Liberals are no strangers to generating nicknames for opponents, by the way, experiencing some success with “The forces of No”” and “#calmdownjohn.”

But at least those have some meaning. Simply replacing a politician’s name with something stupid and irrelevant doesn’t show any originality and doesn’t add a thing to the political discourse. They’re no better than fat jokes, short jokes or age jokes.

Lousy nicknames are the lowest form of mud-slinging. Ideally, we’d all treat each other, and our politicians, with respect, but insults are a part of politics, so we should at least make insulting nicknames good ones.