Rose McGowan’s Brave

In Rose McGowan‘s new memoir Brave (out now), the Charmed star gets candid about her unusual upbringing and several traumatic experiences she’s had, including being allegedly sexually assaulted by Harvey Weinstein.

Us Weekly compiled eight significant takeaways:

• McGowan was born into a Children of God cult in 1973: “Even then I knew none of it was ‘normal,’ whatever normal was,” she writes of the notorious cult allegedly advocating child-adult sex. “I don’t think there really is such a thing as ‘normal,’ but I knew that this was something deeply wrong, something to be avoided at all costs.”
• McGowan tried acid in the 8^th grade: . “I had no clue what acid was, but I was all in for adventure,” she recalls. “Soon music was pulsating off the rec room walls, and my ears heard every little noise. … My soft young mind was on fire.”
• McGowan suffered from an eating disorder: “I never was able to get below ninety-two pounds. For some reason that was my cutoff point,” she writes. “Because I had read about girls who were eighty-four pounds, I felt like a failure.”
• McGowan’s first love was killed: While his murder is unsolved she writes, “I have been trying for years to remedy that.”
• McGowan and ex Marilyn Manson liked hanging at home: “It was a blast, and we were madly in love, and anybody else who thinks differently is wrong. It was a pretty legendary relationship, not just in the media. It was a pretty legendary relationship behind the scenes, too. We had a whole lot of amazing.”
• McGowan’s first film was The Doom Generation nightmare: She writes that a male costar took “a bottle of water under my skirt to spray and push onto my privates.”
• McGowan was raped by Weinstein: “I felt so dirty,” she recalls. “I had been so violated and I was sad to the core of my being.”
• McGowan regrets her part in Robert Rodriguez‘s affair: “I profoundly regret and publicly apologize for my part in this,” the actress writes of her relationship with the director, who was married to Elizabeth Avellan at the time. “I carry a deep, deep regret for the pain and heartache I caused.”