Dear: Canada
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KAMLOOPS — Dear: Canada,
I’ve always loved you, but I must confess that there have been times that I’ve lusted after other lands.
I’m not going to lie; it bothers me that your dollar is often weak even if your toque game is always strong. I’ve looked at the price tags on books and thought, “Why should I pay more for this than people in the USA when it’s the exact same product?! Why are you doing me like this Canada?” (side note: I also still cringe a bit whenever I say the word “Toonie”)
On a tropical trip I had my first legit mango and thought, “What is this sweet nectar you’ve denied me, Canada?! Why doesn’t your fruit taste like THIS?!”
It feels like everyone I know is in Europe right now and with every castle picture posted I find myself grumbling, “Man, I really feel like I was supposed to live somewhere with castles…”.
Canada, you get really cold and this year it felt like we might all just roll over and die before we ever saw the sun again.
You aren’t that sexy, it’s really expensive to ship anything to you and why can’t your men’s team make it into the World Cup?!
So this is what I want to say to you, Canada.
Are you ready?
It’s the most Canadian thing I could possibly ever say:
I’m sorry, eh?
I’m sorry that I even entertained the thought of exchanging a more profitable dollar for the warmth of your kind-hearted people.
I’m sorry that I forgot the taste of an apple picked from an Okanagan orchard the moment that I experienced a tropical mango.
I’m sorry that I’d ever be tempted by castles when I sleep under a canopy of pine trees with the sound of loons echoing across a lake every summer.
I’m sorry that sometimes I forget that I actually love snow and the sun always comes out again eventually.
Sexy is overrated, I should buy local more often anyway and while I’m truly annoyed that your men can’t seem to pull their World Cup game together there’s always your incredible women’s soccer (and all of your people represent in hockey, skiing, skating, snowboarding, lacrosse, rowing, swimming, diving, cycling, curling and all of the other sports where we kick butt.)
You’ve given the world great people like Terry Fox, Margaret Atwood, Rick Hansen, Viola Desmond, Fredrick Banting, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Gord Downie, Clara Hughes, Chris Hadfield, Nancy Greene, Gordie Howe, Alexander Graham Bell (well, sort of) and Martin Short.
Your universal healthcare (while imperfect) has repeatedly saved the life of my child, the reputation of your maple leaf allows me to travel the world in good stead and your Tim Hortons coffee gets me through each morning.
I should also mention that I admire your ability to laugh at yourself, Canada; after all, if hilarious looking creatures like beavers, moose and the world’s most tyrannical geese are going to be your trademark wildlife, you’d best be humble!
And in addition to “I’m sorry”, I must also say “thank you” for always saying “please” because you’re nothing if not polite, dear Canada.
You may not have the buildings of Dubai, the deserts of the Sahara or the jungles of the Amazon, but I’ll tell you what you do have:
Tofino, The Rockies, Lake Louise, the Athabasca Sand Dunes, Polar Bears in Churchill, Niagara Falls, Saint Joseph’s Oratory, Signal Hill, the Bay of Fundy, Green Gables, Peggy’s Cove, the Klondike, the Northern Lights of Aurora Borealis and Baffin Island!
Sometimes, because you’re all I’ve ever known as “home”, I take you for granted.
But, Oh Canada,
