Please make John and Rachel stop their game of silly buggers

Armchair Mayor
By Mel Rothenburger
February 7, 2018 - 4:48am Updated: February 7, 2018 - 1:39pm

KAMLOOPS — Some would call what’s going on between B.C. and Alberta brinkmanship. Some would call it the politics of confrontation.

I’d call it playing silly buggers.

First, B.C. gives notice it wants to put a hold on increases to pipeline bitumen until it can do more study on spill responses. Alberta gets mad.

John pushes Rachel, Rachel pushes John, and tempers flare.

Rachel bans B.C. wine from Alberta.

Can anyone tell me what a black, sludgy, sticky mixture of hydrocarbons has to do with a nice glass of Chardonnay?

I think I know who gets the better deal on that exchange.

And here’s the good part. Albertans are being asked to get through this self-imposed sanction on B.C. wine by drinking craft beer instead.

Like that’ll work — we’re quaking in our boots.

However shall we retaliate? Stop accepting Alberta tourists?

And then, would Alberta stop accepting the half dozen B.C. tourists who travel to Alberta every year?

There’s talk of Alberta putting a freeze on the export of beef to B.C. Did anybody on that side of the Rockies notice that B.C. has cows of our own?

Look, I’ve got nothing against Albertans, and certainly not against Alberta. I’ve been there occasionally during their one month of summer, or when making an airline connection as long as I don’t have to go outside.

But this is, well, like war, sort of. I’ve got to side with the home team. So how about we up the game, and stop sending them hockey players?

Seriously, though, the fight isn’t between us regular folks. Joking aside, we can get along just fine.

What we’ve got here is two socialist governments sucking up to their respective voters. Horgan has to be nice to environmentalists at least until the next election in B.C., Notley has to worry about hanging onto enough right-wing votes at least until the next election in Alberta.

It’s all public relations flackery — yes, that’s a word — and it’s embarrassing. Please, John and Rachel, make it stop.

I’m Mel Rothenburger, the Armchair Mayor.